As I promised, I will start telling you about the issues I was struggling with, but prior to us diving into all of those topics of weight loss, binge eating, quitting smoking and more, I would like to talk about the most important thing and that is your state of mind.
In order for you to change something, some unwanted behavior or habit that you have, you need to change your state of mind. If you are staying in a negative state, allowing outside factors impact your life negatively-you will not be able to change those areas of your life that you want to change.
The success of your life comes down to one thing: how well are you able to manage your State. But the good news is that there are specific rules on how to change your state, and you are able to do this yourself. All that is needed is some practice.
There are 3 things that control all meaning and emotions in your life. These are: the way you use your body, the way you move, the way you sound, which is the pattern of your Physiology. These 3 things control your state of mind.
Let’s analyze your state when you are upset. Think of your posture, your tone of voice, your facial expressions and all the details that you can spot about yourself when you are in the “poor state”. If you were to change all of these things to the complete opposite, that by default will change your state of mind.
Another very important factor is the language that we use, and the questions that we ask ourselves.
What we often don’t realize that each one of us has a specific language pattern that we constantly use, specific words and sentences. And we always ask ourselves questions, whether it’s conscious or unconscious. These words, sentences and questions shape our life because we send a message to our brain with our verbiage as well as our physiology.
Did it ever happened to you: you were driving to work in the morning and you spilled coffee on yourself? And you have said: “oh, come on!!! Why does it always happen to me?! Why I am so unlucky?!”, or something similar to that. Then you get stuck in traffic, you come to work and you are irritated, and one thing happens after another that brings you to even worse state. And at the end of the day you are saying: “This was the worst day ever.” I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced that. 🙂
You need to stay away from lousy presupposed questions.
Whatever question you ask, if you ask it with the absolute expectation that you will get an answer and if you ask consistently – your brain will answer it, even if there is no ground for this. So when you are asking: “why does this crap always happen to me?!”; your brain finds the response for you, such as: “because you are unlucky”, “it’s your fate”; even though there is absolutely no grounds for those responses.
You must learn to ask the right questions that empower you.
What you need to do is to raid your daily vocabulary, the words that you are using and the questions you ask yourself. If in the same situation above you will ask yourself: “What is funny about this situation? What can I learn from this? What is great in my life right now?”; you will drastically shift your state of mind from negative to positive.
I have created a big change in my life after I have chosen my power questions. And these questions above that I listed as an example are my most powerful questions that I use daily. Because things that can upset us happen on a regular basis:). It’s about us, whether we will let them upset us or not.
Please see below some examples of power questions, but I encourage you to choose the power questions that speak to you:
- How come I am so happy?
- How come I am so lucky?
- What can I learn from this situation?
- What do I respect about this person?
- What’s actually funny about this that I haven’t noticed?
- What is great in my life right now?
- How can I become…. and enjoy the process?
- How can I use this situation to create much more power and ability to help other people and help myself?
- What can I do today that will make today more fun than ever before?
And try to stay away from the “Why” questions, as they almost never benefit you.
To live in a happy state of mind, you need to stop worrying about the following:
- What other people are thinking of you
- Other things that will always be there that can upset you
- What’s wrong. There is always something you can concentrate on that is wrong. But you can also find something to concentrate on what is right, what is great.
In order for you to change your state of mind from “poor” to a “happy” state you need to:
- Change your body posture and your facial expression.
- Change your focus. In life we get whatever we focus on, whatever we pay attention to. You make decisions what to focus on In Your life.
- Ask happy empowering effective questions:
- How can I use it?
- How can I learn from this?
- What is funny about this?
- What am I happy about now?
- What am I grateful for?
- Use happy words:
Being able to shift your state of mind from poor state to a happy state, should be your first step in your transformation journey. It does take practice, but it is possible.
Imagine that your life is a movie and you are the director of this movie. Create the life you want, the life you will enjoy. As being happy is the only real purpose in life.