My birthday is coming up in a little over a week. But it’s not just a regular birthday, it’s the 40th one. A lot of people are sad about the 40 mark. But I’m welcoming it, as the older I get the better person I become. (At least in my mind:) )
To warn you in advance, there is no specific purpose for this article. I’m just thinking out loud and putting it in writing. So, it might not be to everyone’s taste..:)
Coming back to my thoughts: I started analyzing… Who did I think I will become by the time when I’m 40? What kind of family will I have? What will be my job? Where would I live? What would I look like?
And I have realized that I never planned that far..:) I think the furthest I have pictured my life was the 30th birthday. Because 40 seemed to be way too old. 🙂
But the idea is the same I guess… What is my life going to be like when I grow up? And by growing up I don’t mean getting older, I mean growing up, as you know a lot of people never do.:)
I really like the quote: “Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional.” 🙂
I have decided to zoom in on all components of current me, honestly, without judgement. As awareness is the first step and the key to a fulfilled life.
On one hand, I still didn’t fully grow up. I became an adult, but not completely grew up. There is that side of me that likes to have fun, crack jokes and be silly. I should call this part of me a ‘Comic’. I’m really enjoying ‘Comic’s’ company.:)
Then there is a ‘Boss Woman’ that shows up at work as well as at home. She is the one who is in charge, to make sure that everything will be in order and organized to the best of her abilities. She is fair, but she can be quite scary and confrontational. 🙂 You don’t want to mess with her.
The next important part of me is ‘Mother and Wife’, which for the most part is a combination of a ‘Boss Woman’ and a ‘Comic’. Everyone enjoys when ‘Comic’ shows up, but sadly, due to this crazy busy lifestyle, there is not much time for a ‘Comic’ anymore. And as they say: “If mama ain’t happy-no one is.” 🙂
I’m not asking for something out of the ordinary. Just trying to make sure everyone is safe and secure and everything runs smoothly, I guess… And unfortunately, I don’t have much patience.
I’m ashamed to say that a ‘Daughter’ part of me shows up very seldom due to my busy lifestyle. (According to me ) I talk to my parents almost every day. But is it good enough? And if I’m being honest with myself: Did I create a check-mark for myself and for my parents (with my daily calls), to feel good about me not spending enough time with them?!
Of course I’m there for them when they need me. But is it the most important thing? Everyone is helping everyone when they are in need. But just being there in person and ‘pouring the bucket of love and attention’ on them is what they need the most from me, if I want to be completely honest with myself…
Then, there is a ‘Student’, someone who showed up in my life only a few years ago. That side of me is trying to learn new things and become a better person. Ironically, when I was in college, ‘Student’ character wasn’t part of me. I’m really glad that the ‘Student’ became part of my life. It is really benefiting me and those around me. ‘Student’ and ‘Philosopher’ are the ones responsible for my writing …:)
Additionally, there is a ‘Mother Theresa’, who showed up in my life after ‘Student’. This part of me is genuinely trying to help others without getting anything back in return, which was a hard concept for me to comprehend years ago; as most of actions in our life are ‘transactions’. “I will do this for you because you did that for me”, etc. I can thank ‘Student’ for a ‘Mother Theresa’ character in my life.
I’m yet to fully discover a spiritual side of me. But I think I’m on the right path.
Then there is a ‘Teenager’. She shows up with the first glass of wine. 🙂 She is fun, energetic, brave, silly, a singer, a dancer, a player, but unfortunately doesn’t always know her limits, as a lot of teenagers don’t. 🙂 And hopefully one day soon, I will overcome the limits issue. But I really need the ‘Teenager’ in my life once in a while.
A very important member of me and my life is an ‘Athlete’. If you have read my previous blogs, you know that ‘Athlete’ wasn’t always there. But for the past 15 years or so, it became an inseparable part of my life. And to be honest with you, it’s not the actual exercise that I enjoy, but how it makes me feel after, and all of the benefits that it gives me. ‘Athlete’ has a special place in my heart as she was the first one who helped me to start transforming my life.
I can’t forget about another very important character in me and that is a ‘Philosopher’. Unfortunately, I don’t have much time for ‘Philosopher’ now days due to the rest of my duties. But I definitely would like to create more time for her. ‘Philosopher’, ‘Athlete’ and a ‘Student’ is a team who are fully responsible for my life transformation.
Well, here it is. All of the components that make me up. Where am I going with this? As I started writing this article, I didn’t have a plan or an agenda. But I think I should be more aware of these characters and what their purpose in my life is. I also need to thank them for being there for me. And need to acknowledge which of them I should bring more of in my life. And the further I go in life, the more characters I might have.
For now, my biggest takeaway is that I need to find more time for a ‘Daughter’, ‘Comic’, ‘Mother and Wife’, and a ‘Philosopher’ components of me.
Reading over the article I wrote above, it came out kind of melancholic. I guess I shouldn’t beat myself up for what I didn’t evolve into yet. It is not an overnight process. I should start working on this one at a time.
But better yet, I should recognize and acknowledge who I did evolve into already and praise myself for this.
Something that I’ve never done before is praising myself. But there is a first time for everything:) :
“You did good. Keep it coming. Continue working on it. It’s just the beginning…”