Spread the love

There is another very important topic I would like to discuss prior to us going into specific behavior changes. And that is anxiety. I would like to tell you about my personal experience and how I overcame this condition.

At no shape or form I am saying that the anxiety is not serious or doesn’t need medical attention. But my personal belief now, after what I went through, is that people with mild forms of anxiety can treat it themselves.

And I know that there are a lot of people like me out there, who are trying to cope with anxiety, with similar experiences, whom I can help. If you were diagnosed with severe anxiety and are currently being treated for it, do not make any drastic changes prior to talking to your doctor.

For most of my life I was not feeling good about myself or my surroundings. I didn’t know what was wrong, nor did I even acknowledge the fact that something out of the ordinary was happening. Even though it was very disturbing, it became my normal everyday state. I was feeling anxious, always worried, nothing was ever enough, regardless of what it was, and there was always a shade of depression that accompanied me on my life journey.

Besides the constant worry, I have had many other circumstances that were impacting my life very negatively. One of them was that I couldn’t sleep much. For the most part, I could not fall asleep on my own, and when I did, I would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep. I woke up exhausted, even on those rare occasions I got a good night’s sleep.

My remedies were: sleeping aid, which did not impact me positively in other aspects, or drinking some wine. And when I’m saying “some”, I’m not referring to half a glass of wine… 🙂

What I did not realize was that throughout the years I have experienced anxiety and at times it was severe.

I have heard of anxiety, but the reason I have refused to accept it was that I’m a factual person; and I needed to have a reason of why would I be feeling anxious. The idea that it was an anxiety disorder seemed ridiculous because I had everything to be happy about! I had (and still have) an amazing family, amazing kids, a roof over my head, food on the table, and so much more.

I have heard of anxiety, but the reason I have refused to accept it was that I’m a factual person; and I needed to have a reason of why would I be feeling anxious. The idea that it was an anxiety disorder seemed ridiculous because I had everything to be happy about! I had (and still have) an amazing family, amazing kids, a roof over my head, food on the table, and so much more.

I finally decided to talk to a doctor regarding this, as this increased anxiety became unbearable. With lack of sleep and constantly feeling worried, I started losing my strengths, even though I’m tough by nature. And at that time I was even willing to accept already that it was an anxiety disorder, even though I have had no reason for that, by my life rules. 🙂

So I went to a doctor, and she told me that what I was going through is very common and a lot of women go through this. That made me feel much better for a few different reasons.

First, I realized it’s not just me, it almost made everything that I have experienced normal, as well as I felt that nothing is wrong with me personally, it is just a common state for women. And in essence, I started feeling that I belong to a group, which always makes us feel better, feel like we are a part of something bigger.

Doctor has prescribed mild antidepressant and anxiety medication. She advised me that it could take a few weeks before I felt the effects, but not long after, I started falling asleep easier and sleep better overall. That by itself was a win. That feeling of constant worrying started to fade away. Those things that irritated me before suddenly didn’t bother me that much. I stopped being agitated, I started speaking more softly, and I did not react to situations or words that I would usually react to.

But something still didn’t feel right. Something bothered me, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Something didn’t “sit right with me,” as they say. I went to the doctor again, and she suggested that I take different kinds of pills, (still a mild medication), as certain pills don’t work on everyone the same.

I followed the doctor’s advice and switched to other medicine. And again, I started to see some initial improvement. I slept better, and I wasn’t irritated, bothered, or agitated. It didn’t matter to me anymore if my daughter made five spelling mistakes in a three-word sentence! I wasn’t upset when a grocery bag slipped from my hands and dropped on the floor (to say nothing of the two dozen eggs in that bag). I didn’t even care when my husband forgot to do something that I asked him repeatedly to do, even after I sent a calendar reminder, sent a text, and called numerous times! 🙂

You might say: “Well, this is good. The medicine was working.” But what I realized was that good things became irrelevant to me as well. Those things that used to excite me suddenly seemed unimportant to me. I just didn’t care that much about anything anymore.

As I was reading about the positive effects of anxiety medication, I came across someone’s description that said that after they started taking this medication they went to a peaceful state. As I thought later on about this whole experience, I would rename this state from peaceful to neutral. I was in ‘neutral’ permanently.

Life was passing by… I started to realize that when those negative emotions were taken away from me, my life was taken away as well. I literally started to turn into a vegetable without emotions! I realized that this is not a solution for me, and I wanted to find another way. That was a tough decision to make after experiencing that worry free state, for the most part, after being able to fall asleep at night, not feeling constant frustration and so much more. But I wasn’t willing to live for the rest of my life in that “plastic state”.

And I immediately stopped taking those pills. My goal was to achieve that state of natural happiness with genuine emotions, if it was even possible. And when I was looking at those “pumped up”, happy people, I was automatically assuming that they were “full of it”. I thought that these people are either taking something or they are pretending to be happy. But I had to explore for myself if that happy state was even a possibility, if it was a real thing…

To be continued…

P.S. I welcome and encourage your opinion, so don’t be shy and leave me a comment below. Also, if you have an idea for an article topic, feel free to share it with me. I would love to be able to help you. If you haven’t yet, remember to subscribe to get notified when new articles come out.


17 thoughts on “Overcoming Anxiety – 1

  1. I am currently a vegetable with no emotions or feelings. Alot has happened in my life & somethings are hard to move on from. Life is a daily struggle. But , I begin anew each morning. Thank you for your article.

    1. I understand anxiety. It initially started when I was with an abusive man,I was on constant guard of anticipating his moods/how to avoid another outburst. That, my dears, can definitely make a person anxious. This lasted a good 10 years, so anxiety became part of my physical and emotional makeup, like a bad habit. After I left, said, abusive man, I then went into phase two, of surviving financially, which became a daily worry, messed up my sleep, and I worked too much. And when you’re tired and work too much, it takes extra effort to maintain good work ethics and a stable consistent approach with customers and bosses… so I became a people pleaser , with an underlying fear of losing my jobs………yup, more anxiety…geeez…..

      I had to work on this for many years, every day. I re-learned the value of myself. I never let go of my dreams of what I really wanted to do, on a work front and on a personal level.

      I used to wake up with a dread inside my stomach, a tight clenching feeling, or once and a while, it would be close to when I needed to go to sleep. Each time this happened I would take slow deep breaths, and tell myself, it was gonna be all right. That, ” I’m ok…I’m ok…”, was my mantra…

      This took, probably, 3 years to finally shake off, with a lessening occasions of anxiety feelings, slowly paring off…

      And now, I sleep. And now I work out, and I take way better care of personal care, face scrubs, yup, even face moisturizers, and slowly I work in a better frame of mind. And I dropped the jobs that didn’t serve me to my purpose anymore,,, I left two yelling bosses, 2 different jobs, …found new, better jobs…and now I have lessening anxiety… it takes time and , yeah, it takes alot of self work…..

        1. what helped me get rid of anxiety. I faced it in a self loving manner. On times I wasn’t working, I listened to my body, and gave me what I needed. I paid close attention to not squelching, or numbing my feelings. Ie, not over eating, or drinking, to try to numb it. The times of feeling blue or anxious, this was the time I refused to drink at all…I’m small and more than one drink is too much! 🙂

          If I had the strong need to hide away quietly, I did this. Allow a mental shut down for a bit. But not too long of a time…

          More importantly, I slowly asked, what did I dream about? What did I want in my life? What was injured inside of me and how could I assist it to heal?

          Then I got out for a walk,,, read a book, watched a movie…

          And made goals of the dreams I had inside, allowing the time to go by, 3 years, about closure of what created the anxiety, and about what I could do to assist the change I wanted in me..

    2. Yvanne, you can change your state of mind. I don’t know the details of your current state, but for the most part, we can turn things around in our lives. If I can give you one suggestion at this time is to raid your daily vocabulary. If you will call life a struggle – it will be a struggle, if you will call it a gift – it will become a gift. You are very strong and beautiful woman. You can transform your state of mind and be happy!!!

  2. Wow very inspiring I have been struggling most of my life with almost everything , nothing seemed to come easy for me even if I give it my best shot I know I have been going through depression for sometime now since I lost my son 7 years ago . That incident has changed my whole life (but not in a good way ) I’m living inside a cocoon with no ambition to go out or have fun with my girlfriends anymore 😔 always a struggle to achieve anything I want . I’m happy to have gotten in touch with you through fb and I’m more than happy to follow and take in all the good advice and positive ideas from your blog 🙏

    1. Hi Sanjee,

      I’m very sorry about you loosing your son 😪. No mother should ever loose her child!!! You are a very strong woman!

      It am glad we have chatted today. I’m going to do anything that I’m capable of to ease up your pain.

    1. Thank you so much for this!!! I can relate in so many ways from the sleeping problems to not being able to pin point the root of the problem. So inspiring.

  3. I battle with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Was off meds for years and did well. Have been back on meds for a year now. I look forward to your future articles.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe

* indicates required