If you have been reading my blogs, you are familiar with the things I have struggled with for years. And I am proud to say that I have defeated these self-destroying habits that I used to have. And only after overpowering these habits I have truly realized that I used to be a heavy addict.
And don’t get me wrong, I knew I was addicted to smoking. Moreover, I thought that it was one thing that I will never change. I always thought of myself as a strong person, with strong will power, but quitting, I thought, would never be possible regardless of what the doctors will tell me. So most of the time, you will never persuade a smoking addict to quit because of the dangers of health issues. Rather, you will irritate them and push them away.
So I knew I was a smoking addict. For the longest time, I had no idea that I was a food addict. I knew I always loved eating, what I didn’t know was that I’m addicted. I have overpowered this addiction as well after a while, after admitting the truth to myself. And I have written about this journey before as well.
For the most part, when you hear that people are addicted, you hear about drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. And people tend to label addicts very easily. You hear different statements such as: “What do you expect, she is an addict..”, “He is a junkie…,” “She is a lost cause…”, etc. Your value in the eyes of others drops pretty quickly if you are an addict.
But a lot of those people who are judging others are addicts themselves, and they don’t even know this. What are they addicted to, you’ll ask me? Well, they are addicted to negative thoughts! They are addicted to worrying, complaining, judging, gossiping, putting others down, always being unhappy, and much more.
They will take the most beautiful time and will turn it into the most miserable time. And even though it is unpleasant to be around those kinds of people at these times, they are damaging and torturing themselves much more than others.
Unfortunately, we don’t hear much about these kinds of addicts. And I am not judging them right now… 🙂 I used to be one…
The major issue with these “Negative thoughts” addicts is that they don’t know that they are addicted. And most of the time people who are close to them are either not realizing what the real problem is, not patient enough, and/or don’t want to bother to explain the issue.
And sometimes, a “Negative Thoughts/Worry Addicts” are putting themselves at a much higher health risk than other types.
As a recovered addict of constantly worrying, judging others, judging myself, being able to find something negative in any situation, etc…., I would like to tell you about what has worked for me.
You Have to Be Completely Honest with Yourself
This is probably one of the toughest things for people to do. But once you master this – You will be in charge!
Analyze your life and how you deal with situations. Analyze your relationships. When something happens that you didn’t expect, how do you deal with this? Don’t sugar coat anything, be brutally honest with yourself. Awareness of the problem is the first step to resolving it.
Once you know your unwanted actions and thoughts, write each one of those down and create a wanted reaction and behavior.
Change Your Focus
“Your life is controlled by what you focus on.” Tony Robbins
The most powerful way to change your focus is to change your language. And I don’t mean to learn a foreign language… 🙂 Analyze what you have been telling yourself. What kind of statements are you making that are destructive in nature? Start asking yourself powerful questions that will turn around this negative experience into a positive one, instead of telling yourself those harmful statements.
An example would be instead of saying: “I can’t believe he still didn’t do what I have asked…”, to ask yourself: “What could I find funny about this situation, if I wanted to?” or “What can I learn from this experience?”
Or you can just tell yourself: “Hocus Pocus, Change Your Focus 🙂 ”
Change Your Physical State
There are many different ways to change your physical state. And one of the ways is to change your body. If you are sitting down – get up and start walking. If you were walking fast – slow down. You can and should change your posture to the kind of posture when you are in a happy state of mind.
If you are talking, change the tone of your voice and possibly volume, start speaking softer or louder, whatever would change your current state at that moment.
Notice how you are breathing. You might want to change this as well. Start breathing slower and inhale more air. Once you do this for a few minutes, your whole state will change.
Smiling might be the last activity you want to do in this state. But you don’t have to feel like smiling to smile. You have heard the expression many times: “Fake it till you make it.” I wasn’t a big fan of this statement before, but once I found out that it actually helps you feel happy, I have changed my opinion.
Your brain actually produces a “happy hormone” when you smile. There is actually a chemical reaction that is triggered when you are smiling. When you laugh or smile, it triggers a part of your brain that actually makes you happy. If you haven’t heard about this, you can get familiar with the concept here: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/smiling-can-trick-your-brain-happiness-boost-your-health-ncna822591
Negative thinking is a habit. And in order to change or learn something new, you need to practice. Don’t expect to do something once, then go back to your old habits and to expect things to turn around overnight. But you can make it fun.
Any time you notice that you are reacting to life differently, that you have broken an old pattern – Celebrate It, as it is something to be proud of!
If you can relate to this addiction, make a decision to change and take action. Because how you react to life has a direct correlation to the quality of your life!