Are you ready to get to the next level in your life and transform your life forever? Then you need to get to the stage with absolute clarity and commitment. Let’s talk about clarity first.
The first step to any change is for you to know exactly what are all of the issues in your life that need to be resolved . You need to admit to yourself everything that needs to be changed or completely go.
We have a tendency to ‘sugar coat’ stuff when it comes down to issues related to us. I have been telling myself for years: “Yes, I do need to lose weight, but at the same time I’m big boned, and I have the ‘fat gene’ in me, that is why I could never be skinny”.
I have also been telling myself that:
“Smoking is bad and I do need to quit, but I work out and being active, so it’s not that bad.” “I also need cigarettes to calm myself down, otherwise I will go crazy.” “I will not be able to enjoy life if I don’t have my smokes. This is why I should not quit completely. Because sanity and full life is more important.”
I think you get the gist…:) All of us do this. And it is OK, as it is the hardest thing to be completely honest with yourself. It is important to understand this, acknowledge the facts and start transforming your life.
This was my first real breakthrough when I started being honest with myself. It was really hard, I could even say painful. But because of that, because of my awareness of the issues in my life that I needed to change, because of the complete and brutal honesty with myself – I did transform each area of my life that I wanted to change, and I have transformed it permanently and naturally. Let’s talk about how to develop self awareness.
What I suggest for you to do is to take out a piece of paper, better yet, start a journal, and write down all of the areas in your life that need to be changed. Don’t over analyze it, just write it down. Remember, no one will read it, but you. No one will judge you. This is your chance, let it all out. Many of us have created a list of strengths and weaknesses before for various reasons. Well, this is almost the same thing, but for the purpose of this exercise list weaknesses only. 🙂
Once you have your list, read it over a few times. The more you read it the less scarier it will become..:) First time I have read my list I was terrified, as I have realized that I needed to change almost everything in my life! But remember, you only need to start transforming one area of your life at a time, not everything together. And you will be pleasantly surprised, once you are on the roll, as some of the other things that are on your list that need to change will start changing automatically, without you even knowing that the process has started.
Now pick one item from your list, the first bad behavior that you want to change. By the way, none of the items on this list should be so called “I should change this” items, everything must be “I must change this”. Because we don’t commit to things in life that are ‘Should’ for us, but we all commit to things that are ‘Must’ for us. And don’t worry, if something on that list is a ‘Should’ for you right now, you will be able to change it yourself to a ‘Must’.
So pick one item, and now list 10 reasons why you must change this behavior. Imagine what your future would look like if you didn’t change it. Imagine what you would look like, who you will be surrounded by, how healthy will you be, what will be your economic state, etc. Look 10, 15, 20 years into the future.
List 10 strong reasons why this is a ‘MUST’ to change. You need to feel that failing to change this behavior will equal a massive pain in the future, as well as now. Get in the state when fear of not changing this behavior is bigger than the fear of changing it. Imagine what your future will look like without this behavior, everything that you will gain by eliminating it.
For example, when I was thinking about quitting smoking, I have had very mixed thoughts and feelings about it. Some of my strongest reasons for not quitting were:
- Life will be meaningless
- I will be depressed
- How do I deal with life?
- I will gain weight
Some of my ‘MUST’ reasons to quit were:
- If I continue to smoke there would be no life
- I will not see my kids grow up
- My kids will start smoking
- I am sick and miserable at all times
So, fears of not quitting smoking became bigger than fears of quitting.
You need to commit to changing this behavior, you need to know that you MUST change it and you CAN change it. And know that you can change almost anything in your life once you develop the self awareness of the problem.
Remember, you must first be fully aware of the problem. In order to change your reality, you must face your reality first!
If you have strong enough reasons, you can change anything. If you have a big enough ‘Why’, you can figure out how to do just about anything in the world.